1. “I’ve never done anything mean to any of you.”
2. “I am a powerful woman.”
3. “I am not capable of hate.”
4. “I was not born with the curse of jealousy.”
5. “Everyone hates me because I’m perfect.”
6. “I am not jealous of Moxie.”
7. “I know what I’m talking about.”
8. “I was never a gold digger.”
9. “Hanging out with rich people paid off.”
10. “I don’t fear trolls.”
11. “I am a licensed bail bondsman.”
12. “I’ve never made fun of anyone on the internet.”
13. “You can’t tell me anything I don’t already know.”
14. “I don’t judge people.”
15. “People have often said I’m a good mother.”
16. “I’ve always been blessed.”
17. “I have dozens of friends and family who listen to my show. They just aren’t in chat.”
18. “My brother has a radio show he does for himself.”
19. “It’s impossible to hate me.”
20. “I’m not saying it’s not possible to hate me.”
21. “I don’t think this is a conspiracy.”
22. “I’m not going to cuss.”
23. “I’m not going to talk about trolls or haters tonight.”
24. “I’m always right. Right, right, right, right, right.”
25. “Stephen plays in professional Call of Duty leagues.”
26. “The reason we kept the cops out of Stephen’s room when they came visiting was because he was sleeping, and not because his room was full of pot.”
27. “I have extended family that loves to visit around the holidays.”
28. “I have over 2,000 live listeners tonight.”
29. “Trolls ruined my show.”
30. “Doctor Herpington begged me for money.”
31. “I’ve always paid my debts.”
32. “I’ve never been in trouble with the law.”
33. “My picture on BlogTalkRadio is completely unedited.
34. “Stephen was in a school for retards because he was too smart.”
35. “I shut down a school single-handedly.”
36. “I’ve been in Ol Rooter’s pizza shop.”
37. “I can get the show back to being what it was.”
38. “My show used to be good.”
39. “The folks at BTR see me as a hero.”
40. “People hate me because they’re jealous of me.”
41. “I was never a prostitute.”
42. “I’m a strong Christian woman.”
43. “I’m no Jessi Slaughter.”
44. “I know all about 4chan and bees.”
45. “I never tried exploiting Anonymous for financial gain by offering to bail them out of jail.”
46. “I love Anonymous.”
47. “I’m not sure if I’ve ever gotten drunk.”
48. “I’m a licensed counselor.”
49. “I’ve never accepted drugs as payment for what I consider work.”
50. “I don’t owe money to the IRS.”
51. “I love Ron Paul Girl.”
52. “I am an icon.”
53. “I’ve never reported any of my fellow BTR hosts.”
54. “I don’t like porn.”
55. “I haven’t had sex in years.”
56. “I don’t want to be famous; I don’t want to be known.”
57. “I’ve never received any sort of government assistance.”
58. “I’ve never thought about suicide.”
59. “I love men.”
60. “Goose is gay.”
61. “I take baths every day.”
62. “I’m not racist.”
63. “I don’t steal content.”
64. “My show is original.”
65. “I don’t know why people hate me.”
66. “Trolls hate me because they hate themselves.”
67. “Heather never kissed that boy for 5 seconds, he kissed her!”
68. “Trolls just wish they were me.”
69. “I’m not acting like Jessie Slaughter.”
70. “I cook dinner for my family every night.”
71. “I’ve never begged for anything.”
72. “Vic is GPS-tracking Goose.”
73. “Hey guess what, lover? Vic called Goose and made him cry.”
74. “I’ve been interviewed on TV.”
75. “Goose is AWOL from the military.”
76. “I know all about the internet.”
77. “I know exactly how trolls work.”
78. “My lawyer and I are close friends.”
79. “I consider people’s feelings other than my own.”
80. “I put my children first.”
81. “Stephen doesn’t fetch drugs for me.”
82. “A psychiatrist saw me and said I was mentally stable.”
83. “I didn’t buy Ghost merchandise because just because Goose did.
84. “I don’t want people to know who I am or where I am at.”
85. “I’ve never thought about being with a woman before.”
86. “I didn’t use the hot tub’s jets for masturbatory purposes.”
87. “I didn’t use the hot tub that much anyway…”
88. “I don’t even know what a bar is.”
89. “People in real life never have a problem with me.”
90. “I’m back. I was just talking to Ghost on my cell phone.”
91. “I woke up and went on a run today.”
92. “My daughter made me a YouTube video and put my name in the credits.”
93. “I’ve never masturbated on the internet for JohnBrand.”
94. “No stupid bird is going to bother me.”
95. “I’m in the mood for haters today.”
96. “I’ve worked in the bridal industry.”
97. “You people call me out for lying, but never back it up.”
98. “I was the ‘mom’ of a professional athlete.”
99. “I know what ‘diatribe’ means
100. “Heather is the classiest girl you could meet, even though she allows me to post videos of her nearly-nude body on the internet.”
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