100 MOAR Lies Told By Debi Daly

1. “I’ve never done anything mean to any of you.”
2. “I am a powerful woman.”
3. “I am not capable of hate.”
4. “I was not born with the curse of jealousy.”
5. “Everyone hates me because I’m perfect.”
6. “I am not jealous of Moxie.”
7. “I know what I’m talking about.”
8. “I was never a gold digger.”
9. “Hanging out with rich people paid off.”
10. “I don’t fear trolls.”
11. “I am a licensed bail bondsman.”
12. “I’ve never made fun of anyone on the internet.”
13. “You can’t tell me anything I don’t already know.”
14. “I don’t judge people.”
15. “People have often said I’m a good mother.”
16. “I’ve always been blessed.”
17. “I have dozens of friends and family who listen to my show. They just aren’t in chat.”
18. “My brother has a radio show he does for himself.”
19. “It’s impossible to hate me.”
20. “I’m not saying it’s not possible to hate me.”
21. “I don’t think this is a conspiracy.”
22. “I’m not going to cuss.”
23. “I’m not going to talk about trolls or haters tonight.”
24. “I’m always right. Right, right, right, right, right.”
25. “Stephen plays in professional Call of Duty leagues.”
26. “The reason we kept the cops out of Stephen’s room when they came visiting was because he was sleeping, and not because his room was full of pot.”
27. “I have extended family that loves to visit around the holidays.”
28. “I have over 2,000 live listeners tonight.”
29. “Trolls ruined my show.”
30. “Doctor Herpington begged me for money.”
31. “I’ve always paid my debts.”
32. “I’ve never been in trouble with the law.”
33. “My picture on BlogTalkRadio is completely unedited.
34. “Stephen was in a school for retards because he was too smart.”
35. “I shut down a school single-handedly.”
36. “I’ve been in Ol Rooter’s pizza shop.”
37. “I can get the show back to being what it was.”
38. “My show used to be good.”
39. “The folks at BTR see me as a hero.”
40. “People hate me because they’re jealous of me.”
41. “I was never a prostitute.”
42. “I’m a strong Christian woman.”
43. “I’m no Jessi Slaughter.”
44. “I know all about 4chan and bees.”
45. “I never tried exploiting Anonymous for financial gain by offering to bail them out of jail.”
46. “I love Anonymous.”
47. “I’m not sure if I’ve ever gotten drunk.”
48. “I’m a licensed counselor.”
49. “I’ve never accepted drugs as payment for what I consider work.”
50. “I don’t owe money to the IRS.”
51. “I love Ron Paul Girl.”
52. “I am an icon.”
53. “I’ve never reported any of my fellow BTR hosts.”
54. “I don’t like porn.”
55. “I haven’t had sex in years.”
56. “I don’t want to be famous; I don’t want to be known.”
57. “I’ve never received any sort of government assistance.”
58. “I’ve never thought about suicide.”
59. “I love men.”
60. “Goose is gay.”
61. “I take baths every day.”
62. “I’m not racist.”
63. “I don’t steal content.”
64. “My show is original.”
65. “I don’t know why people hate me.”
66. “Trolls hate me because they hate themselves.”
67. “Heather never kissed that boy for 5 seconds, he kissed her!”
68. “Trolls just wish they were me.”
69. “I’m not acting like Jessie Slaughter.”
70. “I cook dinner for my family every night.”
71. “I’ve never begged for anything.”
72. “Vic is GPS-tracking Goose.”
73. “Hey guess what, lover? Vic called Goose and made him cry.”
74. “I’ve been interviewed on TV.”
75. “Goose is AWOL from the military.”
76. “I know all about the internet.”
77. “I know exactly how trolls work.”
78. “My lawyer and I are close friends.”
79. “I consider people’s feelings other than my own.”
80. “I put my children first.”
81. “Stephen doesn’t fetch drugs for me.”
82. “A psychiatrist saw me and said I was mentally stable.”
83. “I didn’t buy Ghost merchandise because just because Goose did.
84. “I don’t want people to know who I am or where I am at.”
85. “I’ve never thought about being with a woman before.”
86. “I didn’t use the hot tub’s jets for masturbatory purposes.”
87. “I didn’t use the hot tub that much anyway…”
88. “I don’t even know what a bar is.”
89. “People in real life never have a problem with me.”
90. “I’m back. I was just talking to Ghost on my cell phone.”
91. “I woke up and went on a run today.”
92. “My daughter made me a YouTube video and put my name in the credits.”
93. “I’ve never masturbated on the internet for JohnBrand.”
94. “No stupid bird is going to bother me.”
95. “I’m in the mood for haters today.”
96. “I’ve worked in the bridal industry.”
97. “You people call me out for lying, but never back it up.”
98. “I was the ‘mom’ of a professional athlete.”
99. “I know what ‘diatribe’ means
100. “Heather is the classiest girl you could meet, even though she allows me to post videos of her nearly-nude body on the internet.”

Debi Daly Jokes

Gandalf and the remaining members of the fellowship walked out of Fangorn Forest and Gandalf let loose a high pitched whistle from his lips. A white stallion emerges from the woods in response to Gandalf’s call. Aragorn whispered, “What manner of steed is this?”

Gandalf replied, “This is Debifax. The queen of all horses.”

A horse walks into Superior Bail Bonds, Fernando says, “Hi Heather, your Father isn’t here. He’s at home feeding your Mother a bale of hay”

Why did Debi Daly cancel her show?

Because she was feeling a little hoarse.

What do you call a stable when Debi is inside?

Unstable.

What do you call someone who calls into Debi’s show and manages to stay on the line for more than 5 minutes?

A horse whisperer

What did Heather’s baby daddy say when they were having unprotected sex?

Giddyup

Debi’s debut on-screen appearance was on what 60s television comedy show?

Mister Ed

A horse walks up to a drug dealer, the drug dealer says, “Hi Debi”

I called into Debi’s show and said “Hey!” Debi replied, “Oooh that sounds delicious!”

Debi interviewed an upcoming comedian on her show lastnight. Who is he?

A rodeo clown.

What did Debi name her illegitimate black daughter?

Black Beauty

Debi sued the band “America” for originally using her name in the title of what hit song?

A Horse With No Name

What do you call the mythical four “legit” listeners who listen to debi?

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

What did people call Debi on her wedding day? The Bridle of Frankenstein

How do Debi’s owners tell her apart from other horses? A brand. What kind of brand does she have? John Brand.

Debi is actually a biblical figure from the biblical Book of Revelations

“And I looked and behold a pale horse; and on it rode Victor; who was followed by Stephen.”

100 Lies Told By Debi Daly

1. “I’m a good person.”
2. “I don’t stalk Moxie.”
3. “I’m never mean.”
4. “Everyone loves me.”
5. “I’m untrollable.”
6. “I’m a counselor.”
7. “I only have 5 haters.”
8. “I don’t fart.”
9. “Trolls hacked me.”
10. “BTR doesn’t count all of the people who listen to my stream.”
11. “I’m rich.”
12. “Vic is a P.I.”
13. “Stephen isn’t retarded.”
14. “Heather’s not a slut.”
15. “I hold this marriage together.”
16. “I haven’t done drugs since before my children were born.”
17. “I am 42 years old.”
18. “Vic loves me.”
19. “BTR says I’ve changed trolling.”
20. “I’ve never cheated on Vic.”
21. “Vic isn’t a cuckold.”
22. “I didn’t edit that Moxie video.”
23. “I’m not a drug dealer.”
24. “I’ve held a paying job that required me to perform physically/mentally demanding tasks.”
25. “I have a soul.”
26. “Trolls infiltrate my daughter’s house parties.”
27. “I’m a marine.”
28. “I’ve read the bible.”
29. “I don’t stalk Goose.”
30. “I’m not dumb.”
31. “I was a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader.”
32. “I have a legitimate business.”
33. “I pay the bills.”
34. “I don’t spend as much time as trolls do on making YouTube videos.”
35. “I don’t talk behind anyone’s back.”
36. “I’ve kept every friend I’ve ever made.”
37. “I didn’t have John Brand warp Moxie’s video to make her appear unattractive.”
38. “I know Ghost personally.”
39. “I paid Doc what I promised him in exchange ghostwriting my blog.”
40. “I am Ghost’s kids Godmother.”
41. “We own radio towers.”
42. “There was a radio in my backyard planted by someone other than myself.”
43. “I’m a soccer mom.”
44. “I never lie.”
45. “I have close ties with the Cuban Cartel.”
46. “I was a member of the BWC.”
47. “I’m a troll.”
48. “No one hates me.”
49. “This show isn’t important to me.”
50. “Most of my twitter followers aren’t trolls.”
51. “I took too much “Xantac 75″ that’s why I’m fat y’all!”
52. “I’ve never had plastic surgery.”
53. “My breasts are completely natural.”
54. “Heather and I don’t look at all like horses.”
55. “JohnBrand and I are just friends.”
56. “Strope is my best friend.”
57. “I’m a psychic/intuitive.”
58. “I record EVP’s.”
59. “I have never collagen injected into my lips.”
60. “My children love me.”
61. “I’ve graduated high school.”
62. “My daughter Heather never said that I have ruined her life.”
63. “Stephen doesn’t smoke pot.”
64. “I have a beautiful, pure heart.”
65. “I have never stripped down to my panties for JohnBrand.”
66. “I did not send Bill Waggoner illegal drugs through the mail.”
67. “I am thin.”
68. “Victor is right here.”
69. “I am a troll.”
70. “I have a radio job offer from CBS Radio.”
71. “I made Rich Giordano’s show what it’s become today.”
72. “I used to be on terrestrial radio.”
73. “My Uncle was on radio.”
74. “I have a closet full of MacBooks.”
75. I’ve never wished bad things on anyone.”
76. “I’ve never paid anybody to troll someone.”
77. “I talk to Ghost on my cell phone every day.”
78. “I have helped over 1,000 people on my BTR show.”
79. “I helped Goose get his show back.”
80. “I know it takes 8 hours to write a blog, these mullets are spending 24/7.”
81. “I’ve got money to count.”
82. “I am always right.”
83. “The people I hired to hunt and kill Goose aren’t really just embodied by One Angry Jew.”
84. “I’m not a lesbian.”
85. “Victor had Moxie followed; we had guys on a stakeout.”
86. “One of my YouTube videos was on the city of Dallas’s front page.”
87. “I did not smoke pot one of Vic’s clients sent us for Christmas last year.”
88. “I am not bipolar.”
89. “I am not suspicious or paranoid.”
90. “Goose is stalking Heather IRL.”
91. “I did not ruin my daughter’s relationship with her drug dealer boyfriend.”
92. “I just saw one of those mullets outside my house.”
93. “Heather is not fat.”
94. “I love the Bronies.”
95. “I had four engagement rings at one time.”
96. “I have only slept with Victor.”
97. “Everyone in Dallas wanted to marry me.”
98. “You guys have never caught me in a lie.”
99. “I’m world famous.”
100. “I can read at a 7^th grade level.”

Vic Wishes I Was Moxie

Over the past year, I’ve seen trolls come and go, but one that never seems to give me up is named Moxie. She embodies everything I hate about the world and now she has become increasingly persistent in ruining my life on all fronts. After last night’s show, I went to bed with Victor and I asked him to give me some “face time.” He looked confused, so I reiterated my request. “Victor, let’s take this party downstairs.” His deer-in-the-headlights expression remained, so I decided to spell it out for him. “Victor, I want you to perform cunnilingus on-“

He cut me off.

“I know what you mean, baby buns, but that’s not going to happen. Not until you’ve at least resolved your V.O. problem.”

Now my husband refuses to kiss me down there on account of my vaginal odor, but that’s not even the tip of the iceberg. Here’s what he said next:

“Maybe Moxie isn’t so bad…she might even be able to give you some tips on how to keep fresh down there. I mean, she is-“

“NONONONONO!”

Vic checked into a hotel last night. Fuck him!

My Smelly Cunt

As many of my listeners on BlogTalkRadio already know, I have what’s called “vaginal odor.” I’ve had to live with this condition for quite some time, but since my husband started helping me clean “down there,” I’m finally beginning to cope with this repulsive scent. However, Vic can’t solve everything. A sponge bath and wafting baking soda into my crotch only does so much, so I’m beginning to do some research on what steps I need to take to permanently eliminate the foul odors which emanate from my vagina. I’m using this blog as a medium by which I can document my tumultuous journey to freshness.

Vaginal odor is any abnormal odor which originates from the vagina. An abnormal vaginal odor is often described as having a “fishy” smell. Abnormal vaginal odor is often associated with other symptoms such as vaginal itching or irritation and vaginal discharge.